Most of us are in lockdown; our freedoms curtailed like they never have been in our lives. The Covid 19 pandemic has not only brought sickness to our shores, but fear and anxiety. On top of that, we are grieving our old way of life, which already seems like a long time ago. We’re only a few weeks into this, and getting to the acceptance stage is hard. So, be gentle with yourself.

The weight of the unknown rests on all our shoulders. Even though you may have time on your hands, it doesn’t have to be productive time if you’re dealing with anxiety or worry. You may be home with littles and are expending superhuman amounts of creative energy to keep them entertained and happy, only to fall exhausted into bed at the end of the day. Or you may be home with littles and can barely manage to keep all of you dressed and reasonably fed. Perhaps you live alone and the loneliness is getting to you. Maybe you are missing someone terribly that you are unable to see because of shelter in place rules. Maybe you know someone who is sick or dying and it’s breaking your heart that they suffer alone. Maybe you’ve been tempted to drink a little, smoke a little or to eat a little too much.

Your life has just been upended, so be gentle with yourself. We’ve never done this before; there is no script to follow, no pattern to look up, no advice from a friend who has done this before. You’re winging it, I’m winging it, we’re all winging it. And when it comes time to rest your head at night and you feel like you should have done more or could have done more and would have done more if only your head wasn’t in a such a mess right now…cut yourself a huge swath of slack and be gentle with yourself.

Being gentle with yourself means not holding yourself in judgment. It means realizing this pandemic is still a hard thing to weather, even if you do get to do it in a warm house with lots of food and internet and Netflix. It means doing your best, whatever that is, to maintain your mental and physical health while going through this time. Get your rest. Eat well. Journal. It’s ok to not be entirely ok. You are not alone in this. Talk to your friends or your family. And if you have a chance to offer encouragement to others, or to receive it from others, remember that is also a gift, whether given or received.

Peace of mind may not come easy these days. But doing the best you can in the shape you’re in is all you can ask of yourself. Try to make plans, even small ones, and actively control some of the things that are within your purview; having a sense of control, no matter how small, can help when there are things that are entirely out of your control acting upon your life. Create a new routine; it also helps with feeling a little more in control. And hold tight to hope, because if you have hope for better days ahead, that hope can keep you afloat when you might otherwise feel you are sinking.

So please, be gentle with yourself. If you can show yourself that kindness, you’ll find it’s easier to extend that same kindness to others. And if we are all being kind and gentle with one another, this pandemic thing might not be such a hard thing to face together.