Dawn, Author at Dawn Stilwell

Author: Dawn

Did You Smile Today?

Posted on October 20, 2020October 20, 2020 by Dawn

It’s been quite a year, hasn’t it?

A pandemic hit the globe and we are all still struggling to deal with it and accept that this is how life will be for the foreseeable. It’s made life difficult in situations that are already hard to endure. Some of us have lost people we care about and have had to mourn alone, without the comfort of our friends and families. Some of us have postponed important and much anticipated special gatherings, like weddings. Some of us struggle to make ends meet because our workplaces have reduced hours or closed altogether because of the restrictions placed upon us. Some of us have wrestled with major health issues on our own because the pandemic has made it so our support people cannot attend the hospital or doctor’s appointments with us. It’s been a year of new hassles and hardships and we have mourned our former lives and begun to accept as normal, this life that looks so different than it once did. The weight of the pandemic is still there on everyone’s shoulders and mind, but we have, for the most part, found a place of acceptance of it.

We have all felt the pain of separation from those we would love to be with, those outside our tiny social circles. But in that isolation from the world, there have been good things that have come out of it. Some of us have cleaner houses than ever (not mine, but I’ve heard it’s happened!). Some of us have taken up old hobbies or learned a new one. Apparently, bread making has made such a huge comeback that it’s still tricky to find yeast at the grocery stores. We have realized more starkly that relationships are important and have made the effort to stay connected to those we care about. And many of us have sat in the silence and realized that, even with a global pandemic going on, we still have much to be grateful for.

If we are lucky, we have our health, we live with our significant other or children, and working from home was a viable option so we still have gainful employment. We’ve been able to enjoy our homes more fully than in the past, and we ought to be grateful for that. Even though we aren’t supposed to go out and gather with our friends, technology has made it so that we can stay connected via phone, text, video chatting and the like. We still have our fur babies who love us and make us smile. We still have hope for better days ahead. The bright spots are there to behold if we train our eyes to see them. They are like beacons of light against the backdrop of a unsettled and struggling world.

Find your bright spots. Appreciate them and enjoy the good you still have in your life. We can look forward to better days ahead, but don’t forget to embrace the good that is sitting right in front of you. Don’t forget to smile today!

On Building Yourself Up

Posted on July 14, 2020July 14, 2020 by Dawn

Many of us, as children, were taught not to brag or think too highly of ourselves. I mean, no one likes a braggart or someone who acts entitled. But on the other hand, some of us are a bit too self-deprecating or even suffer from low self-esteem as we have not learned healthy ways of building ourselves up. Do you know what the key to this is? It is both the easiest thing to understand but perhaps difficult to put into action.

You must be vigilant about the words you speak about yourself, whether to others or yourself. You are the authority over your own life, and as we’ve all heard, whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right! Meaning, what you believe about yourself will become your reality. And since you spend so much time with yourself, why not learn to be friends and be kind to yourself?

Old ‘tapes’ may run in your head from people of your past who spoke badly about you. But you can actively work to change that default dialogue in your head that speaks unkind things about you and keeps you feeling defeated. Many of you know what I am talking about. And you hold the key to changing that!

Years ago, I set about to change the course of my life by speaking only good about myself. I made lists of ‘decrees’ I would read to myself, stating the good things about myself that I wanted to believe. That I am kind, important, worthy of love, smart etc. You probably have an idea about what things you should say about yourself to help build yourself up. It may be different than my list depending on your circumstances. But you believe your own voice/thoughts more than anyone else’s, so it stand to reason that you need to speak good things about yourself in order to build your self-esteem.

Thinking thoughts of failure are a self-fulfilling prophecy. Break the habit of negative self-talk and turn the tables today.

Be Gentle with Yourself

Posted on April 7, 2020April 9, 2020 by Dawn

Most of us are in lockdown; our freedoms curtailed like they never have been in our lives. The Covid 19 pandemic has not only brought sickness to our shores, but fear and anxiety. On top of that, we are grieving our old way of life, which already seems like a long time ago. We’re only a few weeks into this, and getting to the acceptance stage is hard. So, be gentle with yourself.

The weight of the unknown rests on all our shoulders. Even though you may have time on your hands, it doesn’t have to be productive time if you’re dealing with anxiety or worry. You may be home with littles and are expending superhuman amounts of creative energy to keep them entertained and happy, only to fall exhausted into bed at the end of the day. Or you may be home with littles and can barely manage to keep all of you dressed and reasonably fed. Perhaps you live alone and the loneliness is getting to you. Maybe you are missing someone terribly that you are unable to see because of shelter in place rules. Maybe you know someone who is sick or dying and it’s breaking your heart that they suffer alone. Maybe you’ve been tempted to drink a little, smoke a little or to eat a little too much.

Your life has just been upended, so be gentle with yourself. We’ve never done this before; there is no script to follow, no pattern to look up, no advice from a friend who has done this before. You’re winging it, I’m winging it, we’re all winging it. And when it comes time to rest your head at night and you feel like you should have done more or could have done more and would have done more if only your head wasn’t in a such a mess right now…cut yourself a huge swath of slack and be gentle with yourself.

Being gentle with yourself means not holding yourself in judgment. It means realizing this pandemic is still a hard thing to weather, even if you do get to do it in a warm house with lots of food and internet and Netflix. It means doing your best, whatever that is, to maintain your mental and physical health while going through this time. Get your rest. Eat well. Journal. It’s ok to not be entirely ok. You are not alone in this. Talk to your friends or your family. And if you have a chance to offer encouragement to others, or to receive it from others, remember that is also a gift, whether given or received.

Peace of mind may not come easy these days. But doing the best you can in the shape you’re in is all you can ask of yourself. Try to make plans, even small ones, and actively control some of the things that are within your purview; having a sense of control, no matter how small, can help when there are things that are entirely out of your control acting upon your life. Create a new routine; it also helps with feeling a little more in control. And hold tight to hope, because if you have hope for better days ahead, that hope can keep you afloat when you might otherwise feel you are sinking.

So please, be gentle with yourself. If you can show yourself that kindness, you’ll find it’s easier to extend that same kindness to others. And if we are all being kind and gentle with one another, this pandemic thing might not be such a hard thing to face together.

That’s the Way It Goes…But There’s Hope

Posted on March 29, 2020March 29, 2020 by Dawn

It’s funny how you think things will go a certain way, and then, poof! They don’t. Back in January, I don’t think any of us in Canada had a clue as to what was in store for us. But here we are, just a couple of weeks into having the Covid 19 pandemic touch our lives here. School is cancelled for the foreseeable. Non-essential businesses are shut down. More people than ever are working from home, and between them and the kids out of school, our internet services are maxing out at times. We have to shelter in place, save for essential work and the buying of necessities. We wash our hands constantly. And some of us, like me, find themselves unemployed. My place of work (day job) shut down this past week, and truthfully, there are not a lot of businesses looking for web designers (my side hustle) at the moment.

It’s been a roller coaster ride these past few weeks. Coming to terms with what is happening isn’t something you can accept and be ok with just overnight. Acceptance comes in stages, and some of us didn’t get there without tears and kicking and screaming. Even though this is our new normal, it’s still stressful. I have a pre-existing condition that could cause big problems if I contract the novel coronavirus, so my awesome hubby has agreed to do the shopping for us and for my mom. This on top of his job being deemed essential, so he goes out every day to work. I’m lucky to be able to sit it out at home, and doubly lucky that we still have one income coming in. But I worry about my hubby having to go out into the world that seems ever more dangerous now that we have cases of the virus in our community. But I am thankful that I can hunker down in my warm house that is well stocked and be grateful that the people I love are currently safe.

Finding meaningful things to do is tricky. Once the house is clean, and you’ve caught up on your sleep and Netflix, now what? Days of jammies and snacktime? As for me, I decided that if I’m getting bored and overwhelmed by the media, I’m probably not the only one. So, using those web design skills that are not currently in demand, I created a virtual neighbourhood website for my little town. I am hoping it will be a positive place for the community to go to be inspired and to feel connected when life seems strangely void of inclusive behaviours. I’m hoping that people will take the time to visit and to submit their photos and stories to share with others. And in doing so, maybe we will all feel a little less alone and find our smiles again, too. It’s a little thing, but sometimes the little things can mean a lot. Hope is the one thing I think we all could use a daily dose of these days, and maybe this is one way to create it.

Wishing you all good health and that you remain safe.