Author: Dawn

Letting People Go

Letting People Go

Posted on by Dawn

Sometimes we build relationships with people who are only meant to be part of our lives for a while. They may have come to teach us something about ourselves, or to provide support for a struggle we encountered. Let’s face it, a lot of people will float in and out of our lives over the years. And as we grow in maturity and self-knowledge, we also come to the realization that some of those people, although once very much involved in our lives, have gravitated to the fringes of our lives, and we see more clearly where these individuals have fit into the scheme of life. Maybe we needed them at one point. Maybe they needed us. But what once was is gone and now what?

Sometimes, you need that bit of distance to be able to discern the situation more accurately. Maybe the concern they seem to have shown for you has been rooted in ulterior motives, but it was hard to see when they were closer to you. They will meddle under the guise of ‘being concerned’ while actively trying to sway your way of thinking about another person or situation. And having survived a cult church, I am quite done with being manipulated in life.

So, if you know that someone is being manipulative towards you for the purpose of their own gain, feel free to let them go. You are entitled to your own life, your own thoughts and your own choices. If someone would gladly take those freedoms from you for their own ulterior motives and gain, then they really aren’t your friend who wants what is best for you, are they?

Life is too short to waste on people who make you feel less than, people who try to meddle in your affairs or people make you feel uneasy because you know they are going to try to influence you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. If your gut says it’s not right, trust it. Vibes don’t lie! Release them with positivity and blessings, and know you’ve done yourself a great favour.

Positive Expectations

Positive Expectations

Posted on by Dawn

Have you ever wondered about those people who seem to live under a rainbow with a horseshoe tied around their neck? The ones who are incredibly lucky and blessed? I used to, and then I realized that if I wanted to experience a better lot in life, my attitude towards it had to change. I was typically Canadian, quite polite but with a penchant for complaining. It seems we are all hard-wired for that kind of negativity, and it is a struggle not only to recognize it when you’re operating from that mindset, but also to do something about it.

Now, there are people who believe in the law of attraction. And there are people who believe in the power of prayer. And still more who believe in speaking forth their expectations and that God/Goddess/the Universe/magical beings will bring it into existence for them. At the core of each of these is the pronouncement of what one wants, and the action is believing they can have it. But does it work?

Well, I’ve done all of those, with varying results. I try to get my mind into the sphere of positivity and believing I am worthy of good things (which sometimes means giving myself a talking to, repeating a phrase over and over until my mind catches hold). Working on one’s positivity and optimism is always a good thing. It helps you see the blessings around you so you can be grateful, and it also helps you to realize that you have the ability to help others who aren’t perhaps as blessed or optimistic as you are. One way is to just be kind. It costs nothing and you can really make a difference in someone’s day. Don’t believe me? Treat a customer service associate with kindness and respect and watch their countenance turn from indifference to a smile.

The more you work towards optimism and gratitude, the more life seems to get a little sweeter and maybe even a little easier. Try to place your expectations upon positive things, instead of negative ones. Don’t say you’ll never be able to do this or have that, because if you’re saying it, it is probably going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy on your life.

Remember this: You are the authority in your life and your mind believes everything you tell it. So watch what you say about yourself, and start the process of saying and expecting good things, and see what happens!

Holiday Self-Care

Holiday Self-Care

Posted on by Dawn

I’ve been so busy the last few months, I haven’t given my usual thoughts to holiday planning. And here Christmas is two weeks away, and I haven’t got my shopping done, but I do have my tree up as of yesterday, so that’s off my list. I’ve enjoyed life being busier with my businesses expanding, but I have lacked time for myself. My husband is so great about reminding me to take time for myself. And sometimes I do. And sometimes, I don’t, even though I know I should. And this time of year is hectic, so something’s gotta give! Instead that ‘something’ being my free time, money I don’t have and my last nerve, maybe it’s the expectations that have to be reined in.

When it comes to the holidays, well, I used to try to give my family the whole Hallmark Christmas experience. The house and tree decorated merrily, baking for weeks beforehand in order to have a wide selection of goodies available, the thoughtfully purchased or handmade gifts, all meticulously wrapped and so on. Don’t get me wrong, these things are great if you have the time and inclination to do so, but if you don’t, then I’m giving you permission right now to just chill and do the basics that you feel you can accomplish. Sure, you want your family to enjoy a lovely holiday, but at what cost to you and your health? Some of the best holidays I remember were about being together, having a great time socializing and laughing, and not a lot of focus on the material aspects of the day. I realized that a Christmas dinner of turkey, gravy and mashed potatoes with one other side plus some brown ‘n serve buns and a pie was just as well received as one that included two meats, 6-7 sides and 6-7 dessert choices plus trays of squares and cookies. It’s a lot less work for me, which I appreciate, and people still leave the house stuffed and happy.

This holiday season, cut yourself a break. You don’t have to make it a Hallmark Christmas for everyone. It’s okay to scale back on the time you spend shopping and preparing, and it’s okay to scale back the money you spend because it’s not great for your mental health and stress levels to worry about how you’ll pay your debts in January if you overspend in December. Do what you can reasonably afford moneywise and timewise, and do it without the guilt. It’s your company and time spent with others that will be remembered more than trays of goodies and your overspending on gifts. It can be a lovely Christmas if you shift the focus to quality time with family and friends, instead of it being a time of self-sacrifice and stress!

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Posted on by Dawn

So often in life, we have times when we have to wait. Sometimes, it’s for good things, lovely things, like the countdown to a party, a wedding, a baby’s birth or a much anticipated vacation. And then, there are times we are waiting for things, and the wait seems to make our life almost stand still; things that make the minutes seem like hours, and days like years. Like waiting for a word from the doctors when a loved one is in surgery, or wondering if today is the day you’ll hear back about that badly needed job you interviewed for. Or, in my case, I’ve waited a long month to see a specialist, and now I’m waiting on pins and needles for a biopsy to be booked, whose anticipated results will most likely lead to cancer surgery, based on preliminary findings.

Thirty years ago in my teens, I had a run-in with cancer that lasted two weeks from suspicion to surgery. I’m not sure if the quick resolution had to do with the fact that I was so young, or perhaps the protocols were different then. I do remember being scared out of my head; I was 19, living on my own, planning my (first) wedding and dreaming of my bright future when a doctor told me I had cancer. I had 6 days to wrap my head around it before the surgery. The wait was intolerable for one so young (and impatient, very impatient!). I just wanted it to be over. Thankfully, surgery was all I needed. That and about 25 scopes thereafter to make sure the cancer hadn’t come back. (It never did.)

Now, I’m looking at the real possibility of facing cancer again. I’m a much different woman now than I was the first time a doctor threw that word at me years ago. In that span of time since then, I’ve survived a lot of trials in my life, the highlights being a painful divorce, enduring then leaving a cult church and also grieving the loss of two babies. Most days, my attitude is that this possible-cancer-thing is just another bump in the road. I’ve got this! And other days, my mind plays the ‘what if?’ game. You know, the one where you try to play out every possible bad scenario, as if to prepare yourself for the worst, but only depressing yourself in the process. It took me nearly 50 years of my life to finally accept myself for who I am. I’m finally pursuing some of the dreams I never thought I’d have the confidence to reach for. I am so blessed to be married to my awesome best friend, and people comment everywhere we go about our laughter and smiles. Life is pretty sweet right now and I’d certainly like it to stay that way.

But for now, I have to wait, my future up in the air. This could all be over by Christmas, or it might take a month or two longer than that. (Apparently, unless absolutely the worst case scenario, I have that kind of time to wait that long for treatment.) Even though much of this is out of my control and comfort zone, the one thing I can control is my attitude. Patience is not my best virtue, but I am trying to wait as patiently, hopefully and joyfully as I can.

The two things I know for sure are that I have an awesome support system, and I’m a pretty tough and determined old chick when I want to be. So I think that despite the down days, I’m going to come out on top of this stronger than ever 🙂