Category: Reflections

Holiday Self-Care

Holiday Self-Care

Posted on by Dawn

I’ve been so busy the last few months, I haven’t given my usual thoughts to holiday planning. And here Christmas is two weeks away, and I haven’t got my shopping done, but I do have my tree up as of yesterday, so that’s off my list. I’ve enjoyed life being busier with my businesses expanding, but I have lacked time for myself. My husband is so great about reminding me to take time for myself. And sometimes I do. And sometimes, I don’t, even though I know I should. And this time of year is hectic, so something’s gotta give! Instead that ‘something’ being my free time, money I don’t have and my last nerve, maybe it’s the expectations that have to be reined in.

When it comes to the holidays, well, I used to try to give my family the whole Hallmark Christmas experience. The house and tree decorated merrily, baking for weeks beforehand in order to have a wide selection of goodies available, the thoughtfully purchased or handmade gifts, all meticulously wrapped and so on. Don’t get me wrong, these things are great if you have the time and inclination to do so, but if you don’t, then I’m giving you permission right now to just chill and do the basics that you feel you can accomplish. Sure, you want your family to enjoy a lovely holiday, but at what cost to you and your health? Some of the best holidays I remember were about being together, having a great time socializing and laughing, and not a lot of focus on the material aspects of the day. I realized that a Christmas dinner of turkey, gravy and mashed potatoes with one other side plus some brown ‘n serve buns and a pie was just as well received as one that included two meats, 6-7 sides and 6-7 dessert choices plus trays of squares and cookies. It’s a lot less work for me, which I appreciate, and people still leave the house stuffed and happy.

This holiday season, cut yourself a break. You don’t have to make it a Hallmark Christmas for everyone. It’s okay to scale back on the time you spend shopping and preparing, and it’s okay to scale back the money you spend because it’s not great for your mental health and stress levels to worry about how you’ll pay your debts in January if you overspend in December. Do what you can reasonably afford moneywise and timewise, and do it without the guilt. It’s your company and time spent with others that will be remembered more than trays of goodies and your overspending on gifts. It can be a lovely Christmas if you shift the focus to quality time with family and friends, instead of it being a time of self-sacrifice and stress!

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Posted on by Dawn

So often in life, we have times when we have to wait. Sometimes, it’s for good things, lovely things, like the countdown to a party, a wedding, a baby’s birth or a much anticipated vacation. And then, there are times we are waiting for things, and the wait seems to make our life almost stand still; things that make the minutes seem like hours, and days like years. Like waiting for a word from the doctors when a loved one is in surgery, or wondering if today is the day you’ll hear back about that badly needed job you interviewed for. Or, in my case, I’ve waited a long month to see a specialist, and now I’m waiting on pins and needles for a biopsy to be booked, whose anticipated results will most likely lead to cancer surgery, based on preliminary findings.

Thirty years ago in my teens, I had a run-in with cancer that lasted two weeks from suspicion to surgery. I’m not sure if the quick resolution had to do with the fact that I was so young, or perhaps the protocols were different then. I do remember being scared out of my head; I was 19, living on my own, planning my (first) wedding and dreaming of my bright future when a doctor told me I had cancer. I had 6 days to wrap my head around it before the surgery. The wait was intolerable for one so young (and impatient, very impatient!). I just wanted it to be over. Thankfully, surgery was all I needed. That and about 25 scopes thereafter to make sure the cancer hadn’t come back. (It never did.)

Now, I’m looking at the real possibility of facing cancer again. I’m a much different woman now than I was the first time a doctor threw that word at me years ago. In that span of time since then, I’ve survived a lot of trials in my life, the highlights being a painful divorce, enduring then leaving a cult church and also grieving the loss of two babies. Most days, my attitude is that this possible-cancer-thing is just another bump in the road. I’ve got this! And other days, my mind plays the ‘what if?’ game. You know, the one where you try to play out every possible bad scenario, as if to prepare yourself for the worst, but only depressing yourself in the process. It took me nearly 50 years of my life to finally accept myself for who I am. I’m finally pursuing some of the dreams I never thought I’d have the confidence to reach for. I am so blessed to be married to my awesome best friend, and people comment everywhere we go about our laughter and smiles. Life is pretty sweet right now and I’d certainly like it to stay that way.

But for now, I have to wait, my future up in the air. This could all be over by Christmas, or it might take a month or two longer than that. (Apparently, unless absolutely the worst case scenario, I have that kind of time to wait that long for treatment.) Even though much of this is out of my control and comfort zone, the one thing I can control is my attitude. Patience is not my best virtue, but I am trying to wait as patiently, hopefully and joyfully as I can.

The two things I know for sure are that I have an awesome support system, and I’m a pretty tough and determined old chick when I want to be. So I think that despite the down days, I’m going to come out on top of this stronger than ever 🙂

Sometimes People Deserve a Second Chance

Sometimes People Deserve a Second Chance

Posted on by Dawn

I was thinking the other day about how I used to be and how far I have come in the last 15 years. If someone were to judge me according to my old self, I would want them to know I am not the same person that I was. I wasn’t a bad person, per se, but I was pretty messed up in my thinking and I had low self-esteem and many of the troubles that go hand in hand with that.

But I have healed a lot, set up boundaries and began thinking for myself instead of parroting what others had told me all my life. I’m pretty confident, creative and I have many projects on the go at any given time. I’m loving life in a way I didn’t before. Why? Because I found myself and dedicated myself to trying to live authentically.

What does this have to do with people deserving a second chance? Well, I’ve gone on at times about how it’s ok to turf toxic people from your life. Most toxic people don’t ever grow enough as individuals to overcome their toxicity. These ones don’t deserve a second chance. But sometimes, even when someone has done you serious wrong a long time ago, they aren’t necessarily the same person they were back then. And I realized that there is a person or two on the fringes of my life that have done some soul work and grown up a bit that maybe do deserve another chance.

It just kind of dawned on me (pardon the pun). So I had a little think about it and realized that if I can make a profound change in my life, so can others. Navigating relationships can be so tricky. People’s perceptions are often to blame for misunderstandings. We all view the world through our own filters and don’t always see things for what they truly are. And because of this, someone from our past may have changed but our old hurts and opinions get in the way of seeing that. In my case, there is someone in my life that has changed for the better but I didn’t allow myself to see it because of past issues. I would certainly want another person to give me the benefit of the doubt now that I’ve changed for the better. So that’s what I’m doing for this person. Because I’m pretty sure that sometimes, people do deserve a second chance!

It’s a Good Day to Play Hooky

It’s a Good Day to Play Hooky

Posted on by Dawn

I have been so blessed recently to have several people ask me to edit their books and build websites for them. It’s always an honour when someone trusts you with something important to them. And I also have several projects on the go, like I always do. So when I got up today and prepared to work in my office, I realized that I had a headache and my eyes were sore. Today would have been the 11th day in a row where I worked. I do 7-hour shifts at my day job 3 days a week, but when I’m home working, I often start at 6 am and go till 4 or 5 in the evening. So, I have put in a lot of hours in in the past week and a half! I love the work that I do, don’t get me wrong. But I think my brain and my eyes are crying for a break from the computer. It is a joy to do work that you love, but even when your work feels more like play, you still need to take a break. So, I’m going to turn the computer off for a while and go sit outside on the patio because it’s a beautiful day to enjoy and winter will be here before you know it!

So if you have found yourself working a little too hard, even at the things you love, remember that to have a good work-life balance you have to rest a bit and have a little fun! I think I’ll take my sketchbook outside and do some drawing which I haven’t done in a very long time.

I know most of you try your best to be kind peeps to others. You need to remember to extend a little bit of that kindness to yourself sometimes, too! ☺️