Category: Sparkles of Encouragement

On Building Yourself Up

On Building Yourself Up

Posted on by Dawn

Many of us, as children, were taught not to brag or think too highly of ourselves. I mean, no one likes a braggart or someone who acts entitled. But on the other hand, some of us are a bit too self-deprecating or even suffer from low self-esteem as we have not learned healthy ways of building ourselves up. Do you know what the key to this is? It is both the easiest thing to understand but perhaps difficult to put into action.

You must be vigilant about the words you speak about yourself, whether to others or yourself. You are the authority over your own life, and as we’ve all heard, whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right! Meaning, what you believe about yourself will become your reality. And since you spend so much time with yourself, why not learn to be friends and be kind to yourself?

Old ‘tapes’ may run in your head from people of your past who spoke badly about you. But you can actively work to change that default dialogue in your head that speaks unkind things about you and keeps you feeling defeated. Many of you know what I am talking about. And you hold the key to changing that!

Years ago, I set about to change the course of my life by speaking only good about myself. I made lists of ‘decrees’ I would read to myself, stating the good things about myself that I wanted to believe. That I am kind, important, worthy of love, smart etc. You probably have an idea about what things you should say about yourself to help build yourself up. It may be different than my list depending on your circumstances. But you believe your own voice/thoughts more than anyone else’s, so it stand to reason that you need to speak good things about yourself in order to build your self-esteem.

Thinking thoughts of failure are a self-fulfilling prophecy. Break the habit of negative self-talk and turn the tables today.

Be Gentle with Yourself

Be Gentle with Yourself

Posted on by Dawn

Most of us are in lockdown; our freedoms curtailed like they never have been in our lives. The Covid 19 pandemic has not only brought sickness to our shores, but fear and anxiety. On top of that, we are grieving our old way of life, which already seems like a long time ago. We’re only a few weeks into this, and getting to the acceptance stage is hard. So, be gentle with yourself.

The weight of the unknown rests on all our shoulders. Even though you may have time on your hands, it doesn’t have to be productive time if you’re dealing with anxiety or worry. You may be home with littles and are expending superhuman amounts of creative energy to keep them entertained and happy, only to fall exhausted into bed at the end of the day. Or you may be home with littles and can barely manage to keep all of you dressed and reasonably fed. Perhaps you live alone and the loneliness is getting to you. Maybe you are missing someone terribly that you are unable to see because of shelter in place rules. Maybe you know someone who is sick or dying and it’s breaking your heart that they suffer alone. Maybe you’ve been tempted to drink a little, smoke a little or to eat a little too much.

Your life has just been upended, so be gentle with yourself. We’ve never done this before; there is no script to follow, no pattern to look up, no advice from a friend who has done this before. You’re winging it, I’m winging it, we’re all winging it. And when it comes time to rest your head at night and you feel like you should have done more or could have done more and would have done more if only your head wasn’t in a such a mess right now…cut yourself a huge swath of slack and be gentle with yourself.

Being gentle with yourself means not holding yourself in judgment. It means realizing this pandemic is still a hard thing to weather, even if you do get to do it in a warm house with lots of food and internet and Netflix. It means doing your best, whatever that is, to maintain your mental and physical health while going through this time. Get your rest. Eat well. Journal. It’s ok to not be entirely ok. You are not alone in this. Talk to your friends or your family. And if you have a chance to offer encouragement to others, or to receive it from others, remember that is also a gift, whether given or received.

Peace of mind may not come easy these days. But doing the best you can in the shape you’re in is all you can ask of yourself. Try to make plans, even small ones, and actively control some of the things that are within your purview; having a sense of control, no matter how small, can help when there are things that are entirely out of your control acting upon your life. Create a new routine; it also helps with feeling a little more in control. And hold tight to hope, because if you have hope for better days ahead, that hope can keep you afloat when you might otherwise feel you are sinking.

So please, be gentle with yourself. If you can show yourself that kindness, you’ll find it’s easier to extend that same kindness to others. And if we are all being kind and gentle with one another, this pandemic thing might not be such a hard thing to face together.

Positive Expectations

Positive Expectations

Posted on by Dawn

Have you ever wondered about those people who seem to live under a rainbow with a horseshoe tied around their neck? The ones who are incredibly lucky and blessed? I used to, and then I realized that if I wanted to experience a better lot in life, my attitude towards it had to change. I was typically Canadian, quite polite but with a penchant for complaining. It seems we are all hard-wired for that kind of negativity, and it is a struggle not only to recognize it when you’re operating from that mindset, but also to do something about it.

Now, there are people who believe in the law of attraction. And there are people who believe in the power of prayer. And still more who believe in speaking forth their expectations and that God/Goddess/the Universe/magical beings will bring it into existence for them. At the core of each of these is the pronouncement of what one wants, and the action is believing they can have it. But does it work?

Well, I’ve done all of those, with varying results. I try to get my mind into the sphere of positivity and believing I am worthy of good things (which sometimes means giving myself a talking to, repeating a phrase over and over until my mind catches hold). Working on one’s positivity and optimism is always a good thing. It helps you see the blessings around you so you can be grateful, and it also helps you to realize that you have the ability to help others who aren’t perhaps as blessed or optimistic as you are. One way is to just be kind. It costs nothing and you can really make a difference in someone’s day. Don’t believe me? Treat a customer service associate with kindness and respect and watch their countenance turn from indifference to a smile.

The more you work towards optimism and gratitude, the more life seems to get a little sweeter and maybe even a little easier. Try to place your expectations upon positive things, instead of negative ones. Don’t say you’ll never be able to do this or have that, because if you’re saying it, it is probably going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy on your life.

Remember this: You are the authority in your life and your mind believes everything you tell it. So watch what you say about yourself, and start the process of saying and expecting good things, and see what happens!

What Will You Choose?

What Will You Choose?

Posted on by Dawn

I got some news the other day that came like a gut punch. The longer I thought about it, the more worried I became. To the point that I found myself hard pressed to hold back tears several times a day. I even said to my hubby, I’m not sure if it’s fear or I’m just having a great big pity party. Both of those emotions are pretty rare for me at this point in my life.

Something happened during the night that flipped a switch in my emotions. I have a prescription for a drug that helps me sleep. I rarely take it and if I do, I take a half dose. The reason being that the full dose gives me nightmares and the added bonus of sleep paralysis, which is a scary thing to have happen. You wake up and your mind is conscious but your body is not under your control yet. It only lasts a few seconds but you’d be surprised at how freaking long those panicky seconds seem while you seemingly cannot open your eyes or move a muscle. When this happens, I usually make a point of trying to make noise, attempting to yell but those paralyzed vocal cords can’t do much more than utter a gutteral moan. I do this until I have control of my body again. Even though I took a half dose, the sleep paralysis happened anyway, so I fought to make those vocal cords work and try to scream. The sleep paralysis then broke, at which point I hopped out of bed, and I was mad. I hate when this happens! But I had done what I could to fight against the sleep paralysis until it no longer had a hold on me. It then occurred to me that I could choose to fight against the things that were currently upsetting me. I can choose to pity myself or I can choose to be proactive and fight to remedy what’s wrong. Way to channel your anger, Dawn! *pats self on back*

This morning, I woke up in a better mood than I’ve been in since the bad news and I’m determined to choose positivity and to do the things I can to mitigate the trouble.

A preacher once said that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.

Your power is in how you choose to respond. So I choose to meet this challenge head on, kicking a$$ and taking names. Beats a pity party anyday! 😉