Despite our best efforts, sometimes negativity alights on our shoulders and whispers unkindness in our ears. It happens. For those who struggle with self-esteem and mental health issues, it happens more often than we’d like. I wish I could say it’s easy to overcome the negativity, especially when others have forced that kind of vibe on us during our formative years and beyond. It’s not easy but it is a worthy pursuit!
When my first marriage broke up, I was devastated and was also dealing with the fallout of leaving what many would consider an abusive church. I felt unloved, unwanted and utterly defeated in life. It was easy to dwell on the negatives while grieving my losses, but I realized that if no one else was being particularly kind to me, well, I could certainly give it a whirl. If anyone else had confided in me that they were going through a similar trial, I would have told them to be gentle with themselves, to take really good care of themselves and to rest and find ways to work through their intense emotions. Basically, I would be telling them to love themselves. It’s something many of us struggle with because being truly good to ourselves isn’t exactly an intuitive thing when you have self-esteem issues.
Self-love is not selfish, but a necessity in order to be the best version of ourselves that we can be! If you take care of you first, then you have the strength and resources to take care of others and maybe even take on the challenges of a world seemingly gone mad. So be kind to yourself. Eat good food and get plenty of rest. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come, not how far you have to go. If you’re choking back anger or hurt, give yourself permission to express those emotions so healing can come. Write them down, have a good cry, scream into a pillow. If you don’t, those repressed emotions have a sneaky tendency to surface when least wanted because you didn’t deal with them. In most everything, it is possible to re-frame the circumstances and journey with positivity and gratitude if you just spend a little mental effort to do so. And you’ll be surprised at how much better you feel day to day when you make the effort to be kind and loving to yourself.
It’s maybe not the answer to all your woes, but it sure helps to get through them with strength, dignity and grace. It takes some effort but the results are worth it. Because YOU are worth it!